Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Pain is an unwelcome feeling. It rips at our hearts and even causes great discomfort in our physical bodies. I have begged God on many occassion to take the cup of pain that I have been carrying these last 7 months. And yet, He has not. Instead he has sustained me with great love and grace. When I look back over the desert I have walked I am amazed at how far I have come without completely collapsing. I know this would not be possible without the intervention of the Great Spirit. He has come to me in ways I never would have imagined. He whispers to my aching soul and brings me hope when all seems dark. I recall His words written in the romance novel that is the Holy Book and they bring me great comfort. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to proser you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future." Zepheniah 3:17 - "The Lord your God takes great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Do you know that means in the Hebrew translation that God literally dances over me? How could I be angry at a God who has done nothing but pour His blessings out on me, who dances over me? I am on my knees and on the journey of seeking His face admist pain and am reminded again that my God is great. Others may tell me I am dillusional. They may look at the seemingly hopeless situation I have faced and say that there is no God. How could a God who loves allow such pain? I say, how could a people that God so lovingly created choose to sin and turn their backs on the only One who ever really cared about them? I know what it feels like to be sinned against. I know the horrific pain of being molested. And the spirit crushing power of verbal abuse when the ugly words spewing forth from the mouth of someone who is supposed to love you rips you to shreds and leaves you feeling naked and smashed upon the floor. I also know my own incredible sinful nature and the great pain I have caused others. I have hurt others more than I ever want to admit too. I have been ugly and careless with their hearts. Oh, that God would forgive me for this great sin, too! This is how I know that there is a God. My past would be dictating my future had it not been for the Great Intervention of my Jesus. I should be a drug addict, alcoholic, or even a prostitute were it not for the love of my Jesus. He changed my name! He gave me a new destiny. I was not given the proper tools to be the person I really wanted to be. I was, however, pointed to Jesus. OH, Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! Were it not for Him I would be lost. He has brought me on this great adventure and I know He will continue to lead me into more new adventures. I am His willing servant.
Posted by Jillian Lenore at 9:39 AM