Thursday, December 17, 2009
What planet am I on?
Crazy sadness burdens my heart today. My broken, dysfunctional and wounded family is a mess and it feels as if they have been orbiting on another planet that I no longer belong in. I grew up on this planet where we all tip toed around the current addict in the home. Yep, I say current addict because there were several of them that resided on the planet I grew up on. And now I have moved on physically from this place and yet it seems I keep getting pulled back in somehow. I so want to move away from this place. Why do they keep calling me back? I must move on and yet it is so confusing. How do I do it different than the rest of them who are still iving there? They still beckon to me. I feel their gravity pulling me towards them, causing me to fall in to the old patterns of rescuing and enabling. I don't even want to visit this planet any more. I have created my own planet where my children are heard and are safe from holding in their fears and their tears. What if the rest of my family never moves off the planet of dysfunction? What will I do then? Do I stop visting them altogether? How does one go about creating a whole new world when the one they left behind calls them back day after day after day. Oh, God, deliver me!
Posted by Jillian Lenore at 8:35 PM