About Me

Nooksack, Washington, United States

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Just to be me....

I made a promise to my G-girl. What was I ever thinking? She knew of my secret desire to be pierced and so she challenged me. She asked that I get pierced for her if she successfully completed her time at the ranch where she willingly submitted herself to a season of discipline and self reflection in Februrary of 2010. On June 11th, 2010 she had accomplished this. And now 9 months later, I have finally made good on that promise. There were so many reasons that held me back from doing this sooner. The first being the thought that I am getting too old and the second that it goes against all the "conservative christian" arguments in my head. What would my fellow christian's think of me? I was always taught that those who were tatooed and pierced AFTER knowing Jesus weren't acting very christian. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. What was I to do? I wrestled with the desire to be true to my word and fulfill my promise. Wondering if perhaps this action could allow me to be a vessel of the transforming love of Jesus? If I kept my promise perhaps I could give my G-girl just a sliver of a glimpse of His great love for her. Little did I know how much it would allow me to experience this same love again. Being taught that tatooing and piercing was wrong always troubled me. I was born a very creative and expressive person. I thoroughly enjoy expressing my faith through writing, music, dance, and even creating art for my home in the form of curtains, bed spreads, and even the colors I paint my walls. All of these things have GREAT thought behind them. They are an offering of worship, an expression of love experienced by Him and flowing out to others. And I also believe that God, being my creator, is the one who made me like this. And being this way leads me to experience God in very non traditional ways. Do I enjoy going to church to rub elbows with fellow believers? Absolutely! But, in all honesty the times I truly feel the closest to the Lover of my soul is when I am doing all the artsy things He created me to do. Being of the artistic persuasion also means that I see things in rich colors and feelings. I feel the most ALIVE and loved by God when I am expressing myself in an artistic way. Now, what's even weirder is that I actually feel the closest to his love for me when I am in physical and emotional pain. In those moments of agony I am broken and more open to hear from him than at any other time. I am sure some of you are thinking I may need to be committed after this confession, but I am nothing but authentic on this blog of mine. So, in pondering this promise to be pierced I sought God. I prayed and read the scripture and here is what I was led to over and over again; "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" - John 15:13, New International Version, ©2011)'>John 15:13John 15:13, New International Version, ©2011)'> O.K., so I wasn't going to be laying my life down, but in keeping my promise to be pierced maybe I was being given an opportunity to give Gretchen a sliver of a glimpse of that great love. And so I did it! And, being the person that he created me to be, it was for me a spiritual experience. The moment I sat on the stool to be pierced and closed my physical eyes, my heart's eyes were opened. Before me was the broken body of my Savior and mere seconds later as the needle pierced my skin I heard "a promise is sacred". At that moment of intense pain I did cry but the pain was only a fraction of the reason for my tears, for when the needle punctured through my skin I saw written in red these words from Isaiah about the Lover of my Soul, "But he was pierced for our transgressions,he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5, New International Version, ©2011)'>Isaiah 53:5. As I felt the needle going through I was shattered by the realization that my miniscule act of love by keeping a promise, was grossly inadequate to what my Jesus did for me. This moment of physical pain resulted in the warmth of the great wave of love "crashing" down upon my head and spilling down, down, down into my whole being. This piercing experience has given me much to ponder and I anticpate will be the catalyst for great discussion with my God in the months to come. Dear Reader, may you know the depth, heigth, width, and breadth of his love for you. For when you do it will change your life.

Being the artsy person that God created me to be I have penned the following song :

C:\Users\JKarber\Music\Unknown Artist\Unknown Album (12-21-2008 4-40-30 PM)

No greater act of love is found
Nothing else makes the world go round, round, round
But love, love, love
Love makes the world go round
The world’s confused by his action
That He laid down his life,
but still he is hated
How can I fear that I’ll ever offend,
To not proclaim the love of my best friend?
So now I’ll shout it from the mountain tops

Chorus -

His blood flowed down
His blood flowed down
From the thorns on his crown
It flowed love, grace and freedom
If love His love were a color it could never be painted
You can try to cover it up, make it prettier than it was, You can try to shut up His love
But his blood will cry out
His blood flowed down
His blood flowed down
From the thorns on his crown

So many things to distract me
that take my eyes from the Prince of Peace
Who gazes on me with perfect love
He sees my heart and all my transgressions
Every sin that I've committed
He even sees the way's I've been mistreated
My shattered heart and broken dreams
Common sense says walk away
If God is love, why the pain?

His blood cries out to the poor, the rich
His blood cries out to the beautiful, the down trodden
It can never be silenced
He came to seek and save what was lost
OH, you can never shut his blood up
You can never stop his love

His love flowed down
His love flowed down
from the thorns on His crown
It flowed love, grace and freedom
If His love were a color it could never be painted
You can try to cover it up, make it prettier than it was, you can try to shut up his love
But his love will cry out,
His love flowed down
His love flowed down
from the thorns on his crown.


  1. Awesome Jill! Not only do I feel moved by your talent with expression, both through your blog writing and your song, but I am so excited for the love and joy you experienced! Yay for friends who keep their promises!

  2. Thanks, Shari:) I really enjoy your blog. You are great with words and it inspires me!